Sunday, March 13, 2011

This Moment

It hit me the other day just how much will be determined by my actions right now.  Rip's death will almost certainly be the defining moment of my life...I guess the question still remains what it will define.

I've heard plenty of times that as long as I live, Rip's memory also lives.  But I think there is more to it than that.  If I were to give up here, curl into a ball and say forget it, this is all too hard...and there are plenty of times where that seems like the best option...then I think that would be failing as Rip's mother.  If Parke and I were to give up, say it's been a good run, but this is all too much...and I'm sure we've both thought it...then we would be failing as parents.

I don't want Rip's legacy to be his death.  I don't want the memory of my son to be when everything fell apart.  I feel like somehow, if something good can come of this, if Rip's life can continue because I kept telling his story, because his parents still love each other, because his story still touches people, helps people long after that one moment that changed everything...well, then Rip's legacy is much more about life than death.

2 comments:

  1. Hi Anne: Really liked your post. From the part of the world where I come from, the general tendency is to not to talk about the dead loved ones - especially dead babies. For so many reasons which can go into an endless list. A dead baby = non existent baby.

    I agree with you so much about what you consider as Rip's legacy. Someone told me I'm made to go through this (losing my baby) so that I'm a wiser person. And can help others in distress. But if anyone had given me an option, I'd rather be dumb and have my baby, than be wise with empty hands.But of course, nobody gave us that option.

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  2. Again.... I am reading your whole blog.. i don't know.. it just helps :) Know this! Rips legacy does live... because telling his story and your story and the story of Gracie helps me so much- more than you know~ xo,Sarah

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