It hit me the other day just how much will be determined by my actions right now. Rip's death will almost certainly be the defining moment of my life...I guess the question still remains what it will define.
I've heard plenty of times that as long as I live, Rip's memory also lives. But I think there is more to it than that. If I were to give up here, curl into a ball and say forget it, this is all too hard...and there are plenty of times where that seems like the best option...then I think that would be failing as Rip's mother. If Parke and I were to give up, say it's been a good run, but this is all too much...and I'm sure we've both thought it...then we would be failing as parents.
I don't want Rip's legacy to be his death. I don't want the memory of my son to be when everything fell apart. I feel like somehow, if something good can come of this, if Rip's life can continue because I kept telling his story, because his parents still love each other, because his story still touches people, helps people long after that one moment that changed everything...well, then Rip's legacy is much more about life than death.