Friday, July 19, 2013

Gracie, Lately

Gracie, lately,

 developed a sense of fashion all of her own

  started to be more in tune with nature

found her inner princess

then found, not unlike the Duchess of Cambridge, the paparazzi can get to even the poshest of princesses

but she always has time for her people (and mama needs to do something with those crow's feet)

She managed to keep her sense of humor and style intact

and generally remains the sweetest, best thing her parents could ask for!

Friday, July 12, 2013

Life as we know it

I am a better mother because I lost Rip.

Let me be very clear here, the price was way too high.

Let me also be very clear that I said better, not perfect.

But I know I am better than I would have been.  It's something I think about every day, almost as often as I miss my son.

Patience is not something I was given, I am not someone who knows how to naturally "stop and smell the roses".

And yet, with Gracie, I do.

I almost always have an extra five, ten, thirty minutes to stop and smell roses or read a book five million times or rock her back to sleep for the tenth time.

Sometimes I am so tired when I get home from work that I would do anything just to lie down for five minutes but instead I have a dance party in the kitchen because all I can think is that there is a mother somewhere who would literally give ANYTHING to be having a dance party with her baby right that moment.  I am that mom.

 I am also that mom who is so thankful for the crazy baby rocking out right in front of her.

The baby whose happiest moments in the world are when she gets home from school and eats fruit snacks and dances in the kitchen with her mama.

Life is so hard and yet so very good.

Friday, July 5, 2013

He Really Did

I was just sitting at my desk this morning at work, you know, working, and half listening to some Pandora in the background.

By the way, Pandora is such a great invention, isn't it?

Anyway, it suddenly came into my consciousness that Rascal Flatt's Bless the Broken Road was on the radio.  All of the sudden I am sitting here with tears just leaking down my face.

This was Rip and my song while I was in the hospital.  I have the clearest memory of listening to this song while I was pumping breast milk at the Medical University after he was born.  It's funny how music can bring back all of those feelings, bring you right back to those moments.

But the thing is, even though I am sitting here missing that baby and would do anything to go back to that room and change the outcome, God really did bless the road that led me there and here.  I have been blessed, and continue to be blessed.  And I think that is part of what brings those stinging tears to my eyes, because the words are true.

That God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you, Rip Harris.