Life after loss is full of contradictions.
One minute I am full of hope, the next I am terrified.
I'm afraid of being "the girl who"...as in "that's the girl whose baby died", and yet one of my biggest fears is the day someone forgets my sweet baby died.
I spend half my day dreaming of the family I want to have and the other half thinking of the family I will never have.
I want control of everything but am reminded daily that I have control of nothing.
Pick yourself up and get knocked back down.
One step forward, two steps back.
Crying, laughing, screaming...somehow I get up and put one foot in front of the other.
It's enough to make a crazy person insane.