I am still having a hard time with trust. I think it is to be expected after having the rug pulled out from under you like we have, but I can become pretty easily overwhelmed these days.
I was driving home from work yesterday, thinking about whether I actually have the strength to do this all over again...if and when I do get pregnant again, am I actually going to be able to make it through those 40 weeks, with all of the possible things that can and do go wrong?
I've always been prone to panic attacks, and my palms were already starting to sweat, my throat was already starting to close when a thought popped into my head...
Growing up, in church, in Sunday School..I was always told that I was a child of God. Well, if God truly sees me as his child...and he loves me even one-tenth as much as I love Rip...then that's a whole different story...because a parent's love is something that I CAN trust.
I can trust in a parent wanting the best for his child, I can trust that a parent would want to protect his child, I can trust that a parent listens when his child is crying, I can trust that a parent would do anything for his child...a parent's love is something I know, it's a trust that I can believe in.