Thursday, October 13, 2011

Masking it

Right after Rip died, I felt incredibly vulnerable.  I had no idea how to face the world as this new me, this "Girl Who", who was completely unprepared to deal with my loss much less others reaction to my loss.  I literally had no idea how to interact with the outside world, I wanted to find a way to hide myself.

So, I did the only logical thing...I got a nose ring.  About a week after Rip died, my younger brother came in town with strict orders to keep an eye on me while Parke was at work.  He drove me around town, I have no idea where we went or what we did, but at some point I must have mentioned that I'd always wanted a nose ring...the next thing I knew, I was leaning head down in the back room of a dark, patchouli smelling hole in the wall with a blinking piercing sign on the front door.

From my vantage point, I couldn't see the device the "piercing specialist" was using but based on my brother's gagging/giggling reaction, my guess is it looked like something that would shove a needle through your nostril.  Still, I figured with the amount of pain I was already in, nothing could hurt me now.  Yeah, I was reeeeaaaaaallly wrong about that part.  It hurt, it hurt bad.

But it was worth it.  Turns out that nose ring was exactly what I needed.  It was like a little bit of armor, distracted outsiders, maybe even gave me a touch of "bad-ass".  I needed to feel stronger, and for whatever reason (and much to my family's horror), having a diamond sticking out of nose gave me strength.

Unfortunately for the nose ring, Parke's choice of armor for that period in our lives was to grow a big, burly beard.  Word to the wise, beards and nose rings don't mix.  Every time I leaned in for a much-needed hug, I got snagged.  Between that and the massive amount of crying I was doing without being able to properly blow my nose, my little diamond of strength only lasted until New Years.

But by then I was a little stronger, had a little more faith in myself when I stepped out of the front door. I was ready to take off the mask. My only regret now is that I didn't get any good pictures...

Parke and I in our our masks...okay, you can't see mine because it was on the other side of my face, but trust me, I was cool.

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