I've said many times that it is hard to be mom to a child in heaven. It's hard for all of the obvious reasons. It's hard because while I may not know what it is like to be up all night with a crying baby, I know what it is like to be up all night wishing with every piece of my being that there was a crying baby there with me. Hard because while I may not know how my day to day life will be completely changed when I have a baby with me, I know what it is like to have my day to day life completely changed by having a baby who is not with me. I don't know everything that my friends know about being a mom, but I know things that I am so thankful they don't have to know.
My job as a mom to Rip is different, being a mom to Rip is the main reason I write this blog. So that no matter how much time passes, his name will not be forgotten. It will always be known how much he is loved and missed, how many lives he touched and changed.
My job as a mom to Gracie will also be different. Gracie will know she has a big brother who is loved and missed, that she has an angel who looks out for her. But my biggest goal for Gracie is for her to know just how much she is loved and wanted. Not as a replacement, not as someone to take away the sadness, but as a little girl her parents want so much just for being her. It's my job to make sure that Gracie grows up in a happy home, and it's one I take very seriously.
However hard it may be, I wouldn't trade my job for anything in this world.