So, taking a little break from my "stages" post...right when I get to the happiest one too! I think that is part of why I am writing today (and will write an "acceptance" post at some point)...today I woke up so happy...and I freaked out.
Yesterday, I was able to get all of my paperwork back from the doctor outlining my leave when Gracie arrives. The doctor said we would most likely be doing a c-section on December 26th...can you think of a better way to spend the day after Christmas?! Beats any day-after sale I know about.
But as we get closer, and as it gets more and more real, I get more afraid. We are SO close, and I just want this baby so badly. Gracie's birth can't change Rip's loss, but it will be a cause for so much joy. And I am so afraid something is going to come along and take that joy away.
So very selfishly, today I am asking for prayers. Prayers for health, prayers for normalcy, prayers to quiet my mind, prayers to be able to just enjoy this time. I guess I am looking for that whole "peace that passes all understanding" thing. I know so many people have and are praying for us, but it makes me feel like I am doing something to ask for these prayers today...and for someone who likes complete control (and is starting to realize just how little I actually have), that means a lot.
And it sounds cliche, but from the bottom of my heart...thank you.