Sunday, January 23, 2011

Better Luck Next Year

Parke and I are headed off on a much needed, much anticipated trip this time next week, and we honestly could not be more excited. 

Unfortunately, my body could not be less bikini-ready.

For once in my life, I could really care less whether or not I look like a whale on the beach, but out of respect to the other vacationers I decided I should really put forth a little effort this week.

Thankfully, we have enough (very very appreciated, but very very cheese and mayonnaise friendly ) casseroles in the freezer to feed a small army, so Parke will not be going hungry this week while I attempt to whittle myself down to tropical island size.

My plan seemed to be going great as I picked my way through the grocery store, only buying the items that I "needed" for the week...

teeth whitener
cellulite reducing/ skin firming cream
waxing strips (area specific)
economy size cat food
economy size wine bottle (good for the heart)
Oprah's Magazine...something on how to live your best life
15 Lean Cuisines (mainly of the pizza variety)

While every other shopping cart seemed to have at least three kids hanging off of it and diapers stacked up to the ceiling, my shopping cart, and me by association, could not have looked more pitiful if we tried.  The 16 year-old check out girl could hardly look me in the eye.  I felt like saying, "Honey, you don't even know the half of it..."

Anyway, I just kept thinking, surely, SURELY, this time next year will be better.  Maybe I won't even need Oprah and economy sized wine...or at least not Oprah.

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