* I realize I said that Rip's story would be the last time I posted before we left town...but I had one more thing to say!
I've been a huge fan of Anne of Green Gables since I discovered her somewhere around the age of eight or nine. Anne (that of Green Gables) also realized the importance of the "e" in her name...those of you whose name can be spelled several ways completely understand what I am saying here. The Ann's of the world are just all together different from the Anne's...neither are better or worse, but I am an Anne "with an e", as was she.
I, like everyone else, have spent the majority of my thirty years so far trying to "find myself". I think maybe in the last two or so years I was finally starting to feel a little more comfortable with who I am...a little clumsy, a little shy, pretty funny when you get to know me (if I do say so myself).
And then this happened. Bam, world turned upside down. I don't know who I am anymore, I am scared to death of what the future may hold. I start to doubt my past. Even when I think of wonderful memories of my childhood it can make me sad, because I think, "oh, but that girl does not know what is going to happen to her in 5..10..15 years!"
But then I came across a quote from Anne of Green Gables, it reads "I'm not a bit changed--not really. I'm only just pruned down and branched out. The real ME--back here--is just the same"
And it's true. I am forever changed in some ways...but the real me is still in there, and all of those good and bad things, Rip's birth and death included, that went into making me have just changed my shape a bit. The real part, the Anne "with an e" part, will always be the same.