Even when I try realllly hard not to, I can let my imagination run away with me. Usually, my "witching hours" are between 3 and 5 am, but with this pregnancy I can spin out of control at any given moment.
This morning riding to work, my mind was going at warp speed...I think sometimes the further along I get, the more I stand to lose, and the more I worry. I'd worked myself up but good with what-ifs and what-abouts, when the Beatles "Let it Be" came on the radio.
And I realized how unfairly my worrying is to this baby. I haven't given her (again, just a guess...although a slightly more educated one, more on that later) a chance to "just be". I have invented all of these worst-case scenarios in my head when absolutely nothing has gone wrong (and even though I practically have to bite my tongue off not to say "yet", I'm working on it). If my role as a mother is to believe in my child, I am not doing a very good job of it by expecting the worst.
Yes, given my experience with Rip, it is understandable that I am going to have my fear and doubts...but I am going to try my best just to let it be.