Monday, June 27, 2011

Let it Be

Even when I try realllly hard not to, I can let my imagination run away with me.  Usually, my "witching hours" are between 3 and 5 am, but with this pregnancy I can spin out of control at any given moment.

This morning riding to work, my mind was going at warp speed...I think sometimes the further along I get, the more I stand to lose, and the more I worry.  I'd worked myself up but good with what-ifs and what-abouts, when the Beatles "Let it Be" came on the radio.

And I realized how unfairly my worrying is to this baby.  I haven't given her (again, just a guess...although a slightly more educated one, more on that later) a chance to "just be".  I have invented all of these worst-case scenarios in my head when absolutely nothing has gone wrong (and even though I practically have to bite my tongue off not to say "yet", I'm working on it).  If my role as a mother is to believe in my child, I am not doing a very good job of it by expecting the worst.

Yes, given my experience with Rip, it is understandable that I am going to have my fear and doubts...but I am going to try my best just to let it be.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Anne,

    My name is Katey and I'm a friend of Tee's. He shared your blog with me and I started reading and could not stop. Your writing is beautiful and you are truly inspiring. I am positive that you have helped so many by being so genuine during your healing process. Rip and your new little one are so lucky to have a mom like you! I will continue to pray for your sweet family and a peaceful pregnancy. Hoping He will send many more rainbows your way!

    Katey Paul