The other day while watching the Today show, Ann Curry said something that stayed with me (which was surprising, she is usually a little too "mew mew mew" for my taste). She said something to the effect of, "All any parent ever wants is for their child to be okay".
As soon as the words left her mouth I had tears streaming down my face. It is a statement where so many of my emotions come from.
There is guilt, because even though my head knows I did everything I could to save Rip, my heart sometimes feels like I failed.
There is faith, the reason I am able to go on each day is because I believe Rip is okay and that I will see him again. And I have faith that the baby I am carrying now is a gift, not just some random act of the universe, faith that this baby will be "okay".
There is love, that Mama Bear love is the reason I fight to keep Rip's memory alive and the reason I fight at every doctor's appointment to make sure that this baby is okay (and I am sure they all just love me).
"Okay" can mean so many things, it's different for every situation and every person...but it is true, at the end of the day, all any parent wants is for their child to be okay.
Oh Ann Curry, who knew?