Friday, October 1, 2010

Bad Idea

I've decided the internet is like crack to the pregnant woman, and probably just as dangerous. Even if I did not have the whole "don't go into labor or your baby will die" thing going on, I still think that I would be a nervous wreck about half the stuff out there.

The first and most obvious no-no's are the miscarriage, lost pregnancy sites and stories...these are just the WORST. If you want to make a hormonal and huge woman lose complete control and bawl for an hour, well then these are the stories for you.

Second and almost as bad are the "what can go wrong" scenarios. I realize that even some of the most respectable sites need to post this kind of information for the poor souls that go through this stuff, but for the most part you don't need to know what can go wrong unless it is actually going wrong. I never even heard of vasa previa before I was diagnosed (which turned out to be bad enough), but I was already at panic level 10 about all sorts of incompetencies my cervix may or may not have.

Then there is the basic info, which can be just as alarming depending on your situation. For me, the most chilling of these are the "how to know you are in labor" symptoms which, as discussed ad nauseum, I am NOT SUPPOSED TO DO. This list includes things like "backache", "pressure", and "abdominal pain". Well good lord, I have all three of those all of the time and I am pretty sure they are due to the 3 lb infant practicing his tai-bo on my insides and the 22 other lbs that have joined him. Nonetheless, every time I read labor symptoms I am left wondering if I should "call my practitioner immediately".

Finally, there are the more touchy-feely of sites that insist that your attitude, stress level, ability to read Shakespeare, etc. all directly influence your child's demeanor BEFORE HE IS EVER BORN. Well, if that's the case, this kid is a lost cause. He is probably going to need Paxil out of the womb. Suffice it to say I have not been at my calmest these past 7.5 months.

Every week I promise myself to stay off of these sites but the very next time I have so much as a twinge I am right back on the net. My name is Anne Harris, I am a pregnant woman and internet last hit was approximately five minutes ago .

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