Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Nurse Ratched

I have learned very quickly that a day in the hospital is almost completely determined by the calibur of your nurse. I have now been here for almost a full week, have yet to have the same nurse twice, and good lord there are some personalities out there!

Don't get me wrong, a majority of them are GREAT at their jobs. I find that they basically split down in four groups...

The first and most common (and best) is the sympathetic nurse. I certainly do not want people fawning and mewing over me, but yes, a long stay in the hospital is not the most fun thing in the world and it is nice to have someone realize that. The sympathetic nurse is gentle when administering tests, asks about your personal life (but not too intrusively), and certainly does not act as if you are a huge pain in the fanny for landing yourself in the hospital.

The overinterested nurse is kind of a pain. They will come in your room and just sit and chat when all you really want to do is log on to Netflix to watch another season of Grey's Anatomy. And when you finally do get to settle back to your show they will inevitably come back in to see what you are watching, usually during your show's most enthusiastic sex scene...awkward.

The third group is the mean nurse. I had my first mean nurse last night...I asked her for some water and you would have thought she had to go pull it from a well. She also informed me that she was pretty busy and might be a while if I buzzed for her...when I asked her what to do if I really had a problem (with the vasa previa time is of the essence if anything goes awry), she suggested I not have a problem while her other patient was in labor. Helpful.

Even worse than the mean nurse, by my standards, is the ditsy nurse. I have had a handful of these and give me the mean nurse any day. At the hands of various ditsy nurses I have been: pinched during an attempted blood pressure reading, left hooked up to machines hours past the allotted time, had to redo tests because they "forgot" to turn on the machines, awakened at all hours of the night, and had hospital food left in my room for days at a time. Although you will remind these nurses of what you need, they will forget as soon as they run out of the room. They often say things like " I just plain forgot about you!" This kind of thing does not seem like such a big deal until you literally cannot do for yourself...then it gets pretty irritating.

All and all, nurses are great...I'm sure if they would just ask for my help they could all be perfect 10's (ha ha).

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