I'm not big on New Year's Resolutions...it's not that I don't have a million things I would like to change/do this year, but let's be honest, the chances of me giving up wine or chocolate is just not in the cards.
That said, there is one thing that I really hope I can do for myself this year, and that is to learn to expect good again.
I thought that after I had Gracie in my arms, I would be able to let some of my worries go, but so far I haven't been great at that. For example, Gracie has a little cold...kids get colds...but as soon as she started sneezing I fell apart. I just knew we would end up back in the hospital and then the NICU and then, and then, and then.
But the last thing I want to happen is to miss enjoying this special newborn time with my baby because I am so busy worrying about what might (and likely won't) happen. I don't want to wish away her first weeks, all because I want her to be older and stronger.
What happened to us with Rip was horrible. It changed me forever. But I don't want to spend the rest of my life waiting on horrible. I have a beautiful baby girl and I want to enjoy her. So, the only goal I am setting for this year is to learn how to expect good again (and to spend lots of time smelling that sweet baby smell).