Thursday, January 5, 2012

Expect Good

I'm not big on New Year's's not that I don't have a million things I would like to change/do this year, but let's be honest, the chances of me giving up wine or chocolate is just not in the cards.

That said, there is one thing that I really hope I can do for myself this year, and that is to learn to expect good again.

I thought that after I had Gracie in my arms, I would be able to let some of my worries go, but so far I haven't been great at that.  For example, Gracie has a little get colds...but as soon as she started sneezing I fell apart.  I just knew we would end up back in the hospital and then the NICU and then, and then, and then.

But the last thing I want to happen is to miss enjoying this special newborn time with my baby because I am so busy worrying about what might (and likely won't) happen.  I don't want to wish away her first weeks, all because I want her to be older and stronger.

What happened to us with Rip was horrible.  It changed me forever.  But I don't want to spend the rest of my life waiting on horrible.  I have a beautiful baby girl and I want to enjoy her.  So, the only goal I am setting for this year is to learn how to expect good again (and to spend lots of time smelling that sweet baby smell).

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