I tend to hold on too tightly. To things, people, you name it.
I am also not particularly adept when it comes to technology.
And I am really impulsive.
These three things proved to be a nasty combination earlier today when I wiped out about 100 emails I've been hanging on to for the past two years in one fell swoop of impulsiveness/I wonder if I can't take more pictures on my phone because it is full of emails.
See, I thought that if I deleted the emails from my phone, they would still be on my computer. I was wrong. They are also no longer in my trash. Two years of emails...emails of desperation to anyone and everyone after Rip died, emails written in fear when we found out we were expecting again, emails of joy when Gracie arrived. At first, I could't believe what I'd done.
But, before you write to tell me how I could get those emails back (and I am sure there is some super tech-y fix to this problem), once I sat for a minute and stared at the white space on my computer I actually breathed a little sigh of relief. I lived those emails, the memories are still there, but it's kind of nice not to have them staring me in the face all of the time. Maybe it's good to start fresh every now and then?
I hold on tight...it's what I do. But maybe accidentally throwing two year's worth of some pretty emotional emails into cyberspace isn't the end of the world. Maybe choosing what to hold on to, or not, makes what we are left with mean that much more.