This morning as I was walking into work, I heard a couple of girls behind me talking about their days. I work at a college, so the conversation I overheard is something I hear a lot...it went something like, "I have FOUR classes today. OMG, I don't know HOW I am going to make it. I am like SO tired. I like, totally HATE days like this."
And of course I was sitting there thinking to myself how these were the best days of her life, she has no idea, blah blah blah, until that little voice popped into my head and said "Hello Pot, This is Kettle!" (which is a phrase I heard on Friends in approximately 1996 and remains firmly ensconced in my vocabulary).
Because I am sure I did the exact same thing when I was her age, and almost every day since. It is really, really hard to appreciate what you have when you have it.
I have been trying to wrap my head around the concept of choosing to be happy lately. I think, in the months since we lost Rip, that it is only recently that I could have consciously made this choice. But some days I will find myself down about this or that and a little voice (probably the same one with the radical vocab from the 90's) will remind me that I can choose to be happy. And most of the time it is like a weight has been lifted off of my chest.
I've spent most of my life waiting on the next best thing to come along. It's not that I want to stop looking forward to what is to come, its just that I don't want to lose out on what is right now. Because some day I will be walking in front of a young mama complaining about how her baby didn't sleep the night before or how she packed her turkey sandwich but forgot the turkey (yep, cheese sandwich for lunch today folks) and I want to be able to smile, remembering the days and knowing I lived them for all that they were.