I am a better mother because I lost Rip.
Let me be very clear here, the price was way too high.
Let me also be very clear that I said better, not perfect.
But I know I am better than I would have been. It's something I think about every day, almost as often as I miss my son.
Patience is not something I was given, I am not someone who knows how to naturally "stop and smell the roses".
And yet, with Gracie, I do.
I almost always have an extra five, ten, thirty minutes to stop and smell roses or read a book five million times or rock her back to sleep for the tenth time.
Sometimes I am so tired when I get home from work that I would do anything just to lie down for five minutes but instead I have a dance party in the kitchen because all I can think is that there is a mother somewhere who would literally give ANYTHING to be having a dance party with her baby right that moment. I am that mom.
I am also that mom who is so thankful for the crazy baby rocking out right in front of her.
The baby whose happiest moments in the world are when she gets home from school and eats fruit snacks and dances in the kitchen with her mama.
Life is so hard and yet so very good.