Be Careful What You Ask For

I probably won't write while I am on vacation, so I thought I would finish the week with a funny story.  This is a true case of "be careful what you ask for, because you just might get it!"

I know my mother-in-law reads this blog, so I will start by saying that I know she meant this in the best possible way (aka just trying to give me what I'd asked for), and I truly did think it was funny.

So, one of the things the doctor keeps saying is that one of the best signs we can have that Gracie is okay is that she keeps growing on track.  So, being the crazy person I am, I have become obsessed with her getting bigger and stronger.  I am practically begging this child to kick me so hard it brings me to my knees.

I am also practically begging everyone I see to tell me how much bigger I have gotten.  Parke in particular has been very reluctant about doing so (apparently valuing his life a great deal) but after a few weird looks I can usually get my audience to tell me that yes, my belly does look a lot bigger than yesterday...last week...what have you.

The other day I was visiting my mother-in-law and told her about my newest quirk.  I proudly put my hand on my belly and she obligingly told me that Gracie was looking large and in-charge.  We chatted, caught up on life, and after I while I got up to make my exit.  It was as I was walking away, belly to the door and fanny to her face that she exclaimed, "WOW! You really ARE getting huge!!!"

Like I said, be careful what you ask for, you just might get it!  Time to get me and my huge self to the beach!

This Time Next Year...

Next week, I will be on my much anticipated, always relaxing, absolutely wonderful annual beach vacation with my family (and no, all of those burglars out there who everyone assures me are trolling the internet for just this sort of information...our house will NOT be empty...and I am sure that you are enjoying the blog.)

I literally cannot wait to get my ever-expanding rear in a beach chair with a book in my hand and my feet in the water.  My motto for the week is Eat, Sleep, Read. That's about as close to heaven as I get here on earth.

The other night I was talking to my mom, and she said "Can you believe this time next year we will have a baby at the beach with us?"

And I remembered us saying the same thing last year.  And that is hard.

But I feel different this time.  I can honestly say "yes we will!" this year, something I was always too scared to do last year.  I really believe we will having a laughing, crawling baby girl with us next year, that my rear will probably never even get near a chair for all of the running after I will be doing.  And THAT will really be as close to heaven as I get here on earth.

And in some ways, we were not wrong.  Rip is with us this year.  Of course not in the way we would have wanted, but I never doubt for a minute that he is always with us... and his little presence will make itself known in countless wonderful ways.

Yeah, I feel pretty good about this time next year...

I Promise I've Done Better on My Marriage Vows

Okay, I slipped.  It is the end of the day, I started innocently looking at some "baby stuff" on the internet...and of course found something that scared me half to death.  It's not worth it, and I think I've learned my lesson now...but a vow is a vow, and I am making myself confess.  I promise I've done better on my marriage vows.

As an aside, if the power of prayer has anything to do with the health of Miss Gracie, I don't have a THING to be worried about.  Thanks so much to everyone who has told/emailed/texted that she is in their prayers.  I promise I trust y'all more than the scary internet ladies!

Things I Know

The past eight months have taught me a lot, I figured I better write some of them down in case I forget...

Once a parent, always a parent...no earthly thing, death included, can change that

Loving a child changes you forever

There is nothing in the world more important than family

Friends are family

There is a reason it's called faith

People are going to say the wrong thing

There is no right thing

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and you are entitled to think their opinion stinks

Don't hold grudges...the people you are holding them against either don't know better or are better not knowing

It is always okay to cry

Sometimes, it is much easier to cry alone than to have to explain why you are crying

Laughter really is the best medicine

It's okay to find something to laugh about even in the worst times

Doctors know a lot, but not everything

Most days, you have a choice to be happy or sad...you don't always have to choose happy

Joy comes in the most unexpected places

It's okay to be mad at God and to feel like He is your only hope at the same time

People will surprise you in good ways

Escapism is a crucial part of healing

Looking bad never helps anything

Knowledge is power, but the person on the internet with the situation like yours is not you, your husband, or your child

Some things just aren't going to make sense

You can't explain the whys and hows of peace

Always trust your instincts, but be smart enough to know they can be tampered with

Stopping at any given moment to put your hand on your belly to feel the baby move is always okay

It's okay to take a page from Scarlett O'Hara and not think about it right now

The world is going to seem like a scary or wonderful place depending on your circumstance...it is both

There will be times when you feel doomed

It's okay to be tired...mentally, physically, and emotionally

There are times when things seem like they will never get better

They will

There is more good than bad

Savor the good

Communication is key, but so is a night on the couch with a funny movie and a pizza

The greatest of these really is love

I Really Never HAVE Liked Airplanes...

Yesterday, my mom came up with an analogy about what this pregnancy is like for me and I thought it was worth writing down...so after it is all over and I am home with Gracie, I can look back and be proud of what we survived.

Imagine if you were in a terrible plane crash and then, for the next nine months, day and night, you were made to get back on a plane.  Even though everyone would tell you that everything will be fine, the plane will not crash, all you can think is "that's what you said the last time."

Now, clearly the pay-off here is much greater than anything I would get on a plane, and technically I did board this plane voluntarily, but regardless...it's gonna be a bumpy ride.

Yeah, they aren't looking because they like what they see

Imagine you were a pregnant woman, a ways into your second trimester.  You are not quite waddling yet, but there is a definite shuffle to your step.  Its 400 degrees outside, so yes, you are "glowing" a bit and the heat is not helping the swelling of your ankles, which is currently rivaling the swelling in your belly (and thighs).

So, when you notice a few construction workers and delivery men staring you down, you don't take offense.  No, you think, "well hey, maybe I've still got it!"

That is until you reach the restroom and get the first full-length mirror view you have had of yourself all day.  Yeah, they aren't looking because they like what they see.  They, and probably everyone else, is looking because your Big Fat Purple Granny Panties are on display for their viewing pleasure.

The lesson: Buy a full-length mirror and some thicker clothes (and ditch the purple panties).

A Confession and a Vow

Wow, three posts in one day...even I am sick of me.

I have a confession to make.  Instead of enjoying this day, the day after we found out that we are having a beautiful little girl, I have spent all of my free time googling every single thing that could possibly be wrong with her.  Several times, I have worked myself up into such a panic I almost (almost) could not eat my lunch.

So here is my vow...I will no longer be doing anything except for concentrating on all of the wonderful, exciting, miraculous things about this pregnancy and my daughter.  Furthermore, if I do even one more search about something that is not wonderful, exciting, and miraculous, I will have to confess to it on this blog.  I am hoping that the humiliating prospect of having to do that fifty times a day will be enough to dissuade me all together.

I claim to have faith that baby is going to be fine, so my actions need to speak at least as loud as my words. I can either spend the next six months worrying or I can spend them fat and happy.  I am hoping my pride alone will keep me fat and happy.

So I have confessed, I have vowed, and let's all hope this is the last we hear of it.