Believe: Feel sure of the truth of
I believe turquoise makes life happier
I believe you can question your faith and still be faithful
I believe in childhood
I believe in rainbows, four leaf clovers and heads up pennies
I believe in saying I love you and meaning it
I believe in miracles, but I wish there were more of them
I believe that holidays are special
I believe in the smell of a baby's head, even when that baby is five
I believe that everything looks better in the morning
I believe in sweating it out
I believe in champagne
I believe in pouring your heart out
I believe in girl's weekends
I believe in sticking it out
I believe nobody feels 100% all of the time
I believe looking bad never solved anything
I believe in books
I believe writing is the best therapy
I believe that trust is hard
I believe in prayers before bed
I believe God has heard my prayers
I believe that social media is bad, but I use it anyway
I believe in cleaning the house every day
I believe in unexpected laughter
I believe in daily phone calls with your mama
I believe in sisters
I believe in loving someone for life
I believe life is good, and bad, and good again
I believe in looking on the bright side
I believe sometimes its okay to take a time out
I believe salt water cures almost everything
I believe in hunting for shark's teeth and shells
I believe in travel
I believe in compliments
I believe in family recipes
I believe in home cooked meals, I just don't want to cook them
I believe in long walks
I believe it can be hard to stand up for yourself
I believe we get too caught up in being right
I believe in listening to both sides of the story
I believe I should stay away from WebMD
I believe we are losing touch with each other
I believe in crying in the shower
I believe in new outfits for special occasions
I believe in looking for the best in others
I believe in family
I believe sometimes we need to write down what we believe.
Thursday, October 3, 2019
Monday, September 9, 2019
On Faith
Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see- Hebrews 11:1
Faith can be a confusing thing. In order to "have faith", as Christians, we must hope and believe in a God who can, at least sometimes, seem very far away. I know I can't be the only one who has wondered why the Almightly doesn't just come on down and make Himself known- you know, glowing lights and booming thunder and burning bushes? Old Testament Style.
Being a Christian these days can be heavy. There are a lot of not so great connotations. And it would be A LOT easier (I mean, mainly on me) if Jesus would come along and be His great, loving self. I could just point to Him and be like- See! THIS is what I was talking about!!
Or when non-believers look at you like you're crazy because CLEARLY science has it right and the Bible has it wrong? Wouldn't it be cool if God just opened the heavens and was all "Hey Guys! Alpha and Omega here".
But, yeah- faith. "Assurance of what we do not see"
And then there are the parts of faith that can be even harder to understand. I am, along with half of the internet, following the story of Eva Love. A seven year old girl who, due to a freak accident, is fighting for her life. A seven year old girl who has a younger brother and parents who love her..it hits very close to home. Parents who did EVERYTHING RIGHT. Parents who are GOOD CHRISTIANS. It is very hard not so say why God?! Why not just heal this child and prove all of the doctors and naysayers wrong?
And He might- I pray so hard that he does.
While Eva's parents are holding on to their faith by gasps and threads, tens of thousands of other believers are praying for their little girl. While her family is weak (and I mean this in the sense that their minds and bodies are exhausted; not in the least that they are weak people), these followers- by their faith- are strong.
It reminds of a quote by CS Lewis:
It reminds of a quote by CS Lewis:
I believe in Christ as I believe that the sun has risen: not because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.
There are tens of thousands of people praying for a little girl they've never met. Praying because they have faith. Hope for and assurance of what is not (yet) seen.
Maybe they have reason for their faith. Maybe they have two rainbow babies, brought to them by countless small miracles along the way. 11:11's, burning bushes- tomato, tomahto.
Sometimes faith is hard. Most of the time faith is hard. But maybe it's not Christ Himself we need to see- maybe its just seeing Him in someone (everyone?) else.
Monday, August 26, 2019
Fuller House
The way I see it, there are two types of kids: Kids who are bad in front of your face, and kids who are bad behind your back.
As much as I hate to admit it, I was the sneaky kid...unfortunately (or fortunately, as my almost 40 year old self sees it now), I almost always got caught.
Sammy is my "what you see is what you get, bad in front of your face" kid. I'll tell him not to do something and I can almost see those wheels start turning immediately. If he feels like whacking the fool out of his sister is worth the time-out...well, Gracie better be ready to duck.
Gracie, on the other hand, is my sneak. Her classic line when asked if she did something: "I don't remember". Homegirl has had a head circumference in the 99% as long as I've known her, and plenty of brains underneath. Playing dumb = Sneaky. Luckily, she's also been "blessed" with the get caught gene.
Our latest battle has been over the TV show "Fuller House". Like every good 80's child, I loved Full House growing up, and thought it was great seeing it brought back to life. Well, I thought it was great until DJ and the gang started telling my 7 and 4 year old about the birds and the bees. And drugs. And making out. And just can we go back to watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse please?
Anyway, Fuller House was removed from the rotation at the Harris household, permanently. Or, until my poor unsuspecting mother watched the kids for me one day. When I called to check in and she said they were watching a show Gracie wanted to watch, and then I heard Gracie frantically hollering in the background "I don't want to watch this anymore!!!!", the jig was up. As were her dessert privileges for the week (Yes, we eat dessert every night. You only live once, eat the m&ms).
So, we move along to this weekend when Gracie had her second ever spend the night at a friend's. We discussed how house rules still apply. WWMD (What would Mama Do?) All seemed to have been a success when I picked Gracie and her friend up the next day to do a little school project shopping at Michael's.
We'd just reached the checkout line where People magazine just so happened to be doing a front cover feature on Lori Loughlin.
"Oh, look," Gracie's little friend pointed out good old Aunt Becky, "there's that lady from the show you made us watch!"
I wish I had a camera to capture the look on the little sneak's face right that moment. Been there sister...and so will you, every.time. you lie to your mama.
Last night we had a long talk about trust and the privileges that come along with that trust. And in the end, Gracie may have gotten exactly what she wanted. She's not going to be having any spend the night parties for quite some time...you might even say, for the foreseeable future, its going to be a much Fuller House.
As much as I hate to admit it, I was the sneaky kid...unfortunately (or fortunately, as my almost 40 year old self sees it now), I almost always got caught.
Sammy is my "what you see is what you get, bad in front of your face" kid. I'll tell him not to do something and I can almost see those wheels start turning immediately. If he feels like whacking the fool out of his sister is worth the time-out...well, Gracie better be ready to duck.
Gracie, on the other hand, is my sneak. Her classic line when asked if she did something: "I don't remember". Homegirl has had a head circumference in the 99% as long as I've known her, and plenty of brains underneath. Playing dumb = Sneaky. Luckily, she's also been "blessed" with the get caught gene.
Our latest battle has been over the TV show "Fuller House". Like every good 80's child, I loved Full House growing up, and thought it was great seeing it brought back to life. Well, I thought it was great until DJ and the gang started telling my 7 and 4 year old about the birds and the bees. And drugs. And making out. And just can we go back to watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse please?
Anyway, Fuller House was removed from the rotation at the Harris household, permanently. Or, until my poor unsuspecting mother watched the kids for me one day. When I called to check in and she said they were watching a show Gracie wanted to watch, and then I heard Gracie frantically hollering in the background "I don't want to watch this anymore!!!!", the jig was up. As were her dessert privileges for the week (Yes, we eat dessert every night. You only live once, eat the m&ms).
So, we move along to this weekend when Gracie had her second ever spend the night at a friend's. We discussed how house rules still apply. WWMD (What would Mama Do?) All seemed to have been a success when I picked Gracie and her friend up the next day to do a little school project shopping at Michael's.
We'd just reached the checkout line where People magazine just so happened to be doing a front cover feature on Lori Loughlin.
"Oh, look," Gracie's little friend pointed out good old Aunt Becky, "there's that lady from the show you made us watch!"
I wish I had a camera to capture the look on the little sneak's face right that moment. Been there sister...and so will you, every.time. you lie to your mama.
Last night we had a long talk about trust and the privileges that come along with that trust. And in the end, Gracie may have gotten exactly what she wanted. She's not going to be having any spend the night parties for quite some time...you might even say, for the foreseeable future, its going to be a much Fuller House.
Wednesday, August 21, 2019
A Moment Like This
I was recently asked to serve on a committee at our church. I think this is probably something that happens a lot as your kids get older and you become more invested in their faith walk and who is helping guide it. In other words, there's a sucker born every day.
Anyway, the day of our first committee meeting Parke was out of town, I had no babysitter and it was approximately 1000 degrees. Needless to say, we rolled up to the church 5 minutes late. Things were going well.
The sweet lady in the reception area offered to watch Gracie and Sam and directed me to the "parlor", where the rest of the group was already in session. Not familiar with that area of the church I asked for directions.
As it turns out, the parlor is a little area to the side of the church where they hold Boy Scout meetings and gather before weddings...and funerals. The last time I'd been in the parlor, with no presence of mind to ask what it was called or anything else for that matter, was just before Rip's funeral.
I am amazed as human beings how life is made up of so many moments like this. Moments where you are literally thrown into a room that holds some of the worst memories of your life and yet we smile, nod, pull out our pens, and get to work.
Everyone has a "parlor" or two or three. A road, a house, a hospital room where their lives changed forever. But somehow we keep moving. We keep showing up. We keep going.
What felt like much later the door cracked open and two slightly disheveled children were deposited back to me. Smiling and shy, and smelling damp and sweet - I couldn't help but wonder if there was a ghost of a girl 9 years before still somewhere in this parlor. Stuck wondering if she would ever get a moment just like this.
Anyway, the day of our first committee meeting Parke was out of town, I had no babysitter and it was approximately 1000 degrees. Needless to say, we rolled up to the church 5 minutes late. Things were going well.
The sweet lady in the reception area offered to watch Gracie and Sam and directed me to the "parlor", where the rest of the group was already in session. Not familiar with that area of the church I asked for directions.
As it turns out, the parlor is a little area to the side of the church where they hold Boy Scout meetings and gather before weddings...and funerals. The last time I'd been in the parlor, with no presence of mind to ask what it was called or anything else for that matter, was just before Rip's funeral.
I am amazed as human beings how life is made up of so many moments like this. Moments where you are literally thrown into a room that holds some of the worst memories of your life and yet we smile, nod, pull out our pens, and get to work.
Everyone has a "parlor" or two or three. A road, a house, a hospital room where their lives changed forever. But somehow we keep moving. We keep showing up. We keep going.
What felt like much later the door cracked open and two slightly disheveled children were deposited back to me. Smiling and shy, and smelling damp and sweet - I couldn't help but wonder if there was a ghost of a girl 9 years before still somewhere in this parlor. Stuck wondering if she would ever get a moment just like this.
Saturday, November 18, 2017
Go After It
Today marks seven years since Rip left this earth.
He was alive for seven days- people often make a big fuss over how God could have created the universe in seven days, but I can certainly see how whole worlds can be created in just such a time.
In 2010, I could not have imagined making it through seven minutes, much less seven years, but here we are.
Earlier this year, Gracie attended a vacation bible school where the motto was, "Do Good, Seek Peace, and Go After It".
That little phrase stuck to my heart as exactly what I've been trying to do since Rip died. My life is spent trying to be a better person, to seek out the good, in his name.
In the last couple of weeks I've seen a challenge on social media, asking people to display seven photos that represent their life. I've said time and again that our life- which is a very good life- is what it is because of Rip Harris. We would not have Gracie and Sam without him, Parke and I would not be nearly as kind to one another without him and I would not have learned to be brave without him. He changed us in all the ways we could be changed.
So here are seven pictures of our life today, seven years later.
Do Good. Seek Peace. Go After It.
He was alive for seven days- people often make a big fuss over how God could have created the universe in seven days, but I can certainly see how whole worlds can be created in just such a time.
In 2010, I could not have imagined making it through seven minutes, much less seven years, but here we are.
Earlier this year, Gracie attended a vacation bible school where the motto was, "Do Good, Seek Peace, and Go After It".
That little phrase stuck to my heart as exactly what I've been trying to do since Rip died. My life is spent trying to be a better person, to seek out the good, in his name.
In the last couple of weeks I've seen a challenge on social media, asking people to display seven photos that represent their life. I've said time and again that our life- which is a very good life- is what it is because of Rip Harris. We would not have Gracie and Sam without him, Parke and I would not be nearly as kind to one another without him and I would not have learned to be brave without him. He changed us in all the ways we could be changed.
So here are seven pictures of our life today, seven years later.
Do Good. Seek Peace. Go After It.
Saturday, November 11, 2017
I Will Carry You
Dear Rip,
When I think of you, I think of fried chicken...and sweet tea...and Grey's Anatomy. While we existed in our little cocoon of hospital life for the most part it was just you and me, Bubba. And while that time was certainly stressful, it was also very sweet. And maybe a little unhealthy. But you were safe in my belly, Meredith Grey provided an escape from our worries and quite frankly that hospital could give the Colonel a run for his money in the chicken and tea department.
It was a little shocking then, once you were on the outside and I watched them wheel you away. Something that had literally been a part of me for all of those weeks now seemed a little bit...other. That feeling of otherness immediately washed away the minute I held you in my arms. You were once again so totally mine and a feeling came over me, as I've described before, as simply "Heaven".
When you had to leave me again, I fought so hard against the "otherness". It was the hardest thing I've ever been through, not to have you here with me. But somehow, over the seven years (seven!!!) little boy, you are with me again. There is not one thing- not one- that I do you are not a part of. Not a decision I make as a mother, as a wife, as a person who tries to leave the world a better place. That is all because I carry you inside of me. Just as I did all of those months and weeks seven years ago.
Over time I've come to realize - I will always, always carry you Rip Harris. No matter where you are.
Happy Birthday- I hope there is plenty of fried chicken and sweet tea (you are still too young for Grey's Anatomy).
Love,
Your Mama
When I think of you, I think of fried chicken...and sweet tea...and Grey's Anatomy. While we existed in our little cocoon of hospital life for the most part it was just you and me, Bubba. And while that time was certainly stressful, it was also very sweet. And maybe a little unhealthy. But you were safe in my belly, Meredith Grey provided an escape from our worries and quite frankly that hospital could give the Colonel a run for his money in the chicken and tea department.
It was a little shocking then, once you were on the outside and I watched them wheel you away. Something that had literally been a part of me for all of those weeks now seemed a little bit...other. That feeling of otherness immediately washed away the minute I held you in my arms. You were once again so totally mine and a feeling came over me, as I've described before, as simply "Heaven".
When you had to leave me again, I fought so hard against the "otherness". It was the hardest thing I've ever been through, not to have you here with me. But somehow, over the seven years (seven!!!) little boy, you are with me again. There is not one thing- not one- that I do you are not a part of. Not a decision I make as a mother, as a wife, as a person who tries to leave the world a better place. That is all because I carry you inside of me. Just as I did all of those months and weeks seven years ago.
Over time I've come to realize - I will always, always carry you Rip Harris. No matter where you are.
Happy Birthday- I hope there is plenty of fried chicken and sweet tea (you are still too young for Grey's Anatomy).
Love,
Your Mama
Thursday, August 17, 2017
The Plan
Dear Gracie,
Last night, while I was giving you a bath, you asked me in a very small voice what I thought you would be doing on your first day of kindergarten.
Your question took me a little bit by surprise, because all day you'd been SO EXCITED about starting your new school. Bouncing around the room while meeting your teacher, not holding my hand as we walked in the class...you are so brave.
But we are very alike in this way- the unknown is very hard, isn't it baby girl? We like a plan. We like to know what we are doing in each minute of each day until someone picks us up at 2:20 pm and then we like to plan what we will have for a snack. Because, eating is something else we like to do.
And while I can, and did to the best of my abilities, fill in the gaps of what you will face on your first day of kindergarten the truth is that I don't know. And that can be a little bit scary. For mamas and for little girls.
Here is what I do know-I've been in lots of new situations and despite all of my best efforts sometimes they didn't go exactly as I planned. But you know what? They turned out okay.
For example, a teeny secret I will tell you only because you do not officially know how to read yet...Mama doesn't really know what she is doing all of the time with you and your brother. I don't always have a plan. But with a whole lot of love and a whole lot of Jesus (and your Daddy, he helps) we seem to be doing okay.
So that's the best plan I can give you for this year. Lots of love (for everyone- there is plenty to go around), lots of Jesus, and your mama and daddy.
The rest is a little unknown and that's okay. Except that someone will be there to pick you up at 2:20 and then we will have a snack. That I do know.
You are the best little girl in the world and you always will be.
Love,
Your Mama.
Last night, while I was giving you a bath, you asked me in a very small voice what I thought you would be doing on your first day of kindergarten.
Your question took me a little bit by surprise, because all day you'd been SO EXCITED about starting your new school. Bouncing around the room while meeting your teacher, not holding my hand as we walked in the class...you are so brave.
But we are very alike in this way- the unknown is very hard, isn't it baby girl? We like a plan. We like to know what we are doing in each minute of each day until someone picks us up at 2:20 pm and then we like to plan what we will have for a snack. Because, eating is something else we like to do.
And while I can, and did to the best of my abilities, fill in the gaps of what you will face on your first day of kindergarten the truth is that I don't know. And that can be a little bit scary. For mamas and for little girls.
Here is what I do know-I've been in lots of new situations and despite all of my best efforts sometimes they didn't go exactly as I planned. But you know what? They turned out okay.
For example, a teeny secret I will tell you only because you do not officially know how to read yet...Mama doesn't really know what she is doing all of the time with you and your brother. I don't always have a plan. But with a whole lot of love and a whole lot of Jesus (and your Daddy, he helps) we seem to be doing okay.
So that's the best plan I can give you for this year. Lots of love (for everyone- there is plenty to go around), lots of Jesus, and your mama and daddy.
The rest is a little unknown and that's okay. Except that someone will be there to pick you up at 2:20 and then we will have a snack. That I do know.
You are the best little girl in the world and you always will be.
Love,
Your Mama.
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