Monday, January 21, 2013

Girl Power

I, like way too many women I know, have always suffered from a lack of self-esteem.

I'm not entirely sure why (clearly I am very funny and smart...ha.ha.ha.) but throw me into a situation that is new or where I am not sure what to do and my automatic response is to tell myself no.  Not consciously, but my subconscious is throwing it's obnoxious little self around saying "no no no, you won't be able to do this! You can't handle this! There's no WAYYYYYY!!!!!!"

You know the one area where I don't seem to have this issue?  Being a mom.

Don't get me wrong, I doubt myself all of the time as a mother...I just know that, for Gracie and Rip, I am literally the only person for the job.  I'm it, and when it comes time for a decision to be made, I'd better make it and make it quick.

I've been wondering lately why I have such a hard time, or why I give myself such a hard time, carrying that confidence over into the rest of my life?

Is anything anyone is going to ask me to do harder than what I have already done?  Is anyone going to ask me to have a really rare condition, sit in the hospital for six weeks, lose my firstborn, have another (at times) even scarier pregnancy, have a complicated c-section, all of which resulted in a beautiful baby girl?  Let's all just pray to the Good Lord Jesus the answer is no, you may find me curled in a ball somewhere if so.

But truly, most people (women especially) just deal with the really hard stuff when it comes, and then worry themselves to pieces over the small stuff.  Why is that?

I don't have the answer, it's just something I've been thinking about.  This concludes my Girl Power vent of the day.

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