I have been dreading and worrying (and worrying) and praying and down right obsessing over something for the past couple of weeks.
Yesterday, at daycare, Gracie held her bottle by herself for the first time.
These things seemed completely unrelated until last night when I was putting Gracie to bed. I was giving her a bottle and rocking and fretting and fuming away, when a phrase popped in to my head, "Be in this minute".
So I took myself out of my head and brought myself back to this minute. This minute is where I get to give my baby girl a bottle before she gets too big and sassy and wants to do it herself, where I can just listen to her hungry little suck-suck-suck noises gradually slow and become lazy as she drifts off to sleep. This minute is where I watch her pudgy little fingers rub the sleeve of her pink owl pajamas (something I used to call "collecting soft" as a kid). This minute, all I really have to think about is how impossibly long my baby's eyelashes are and how anybody can have such a perfect little tiny nose.
I don't know what the outcome will be to my worries, I would like to believe "it all works out in the end", but sometimes that is hard to do when you aren't at the end. But what I am trying really hard to remember is that this minute is just that...a minute. I flash of time that will be gone before I know it. So, regardless of anything else, I need to enjoy being in this minute.