And then it hit me, as it usually does right around a "birthday". Today is April 11th, Rip would have been almost a year and a half today.
It hit me out of nowhere yesterday, that prickly feeling behind my eyes, that feeling of just plain old missing my baby boy. So I stopped, closed my eyes, and told him. Told him how much I missed him and how much I loved him. Told him how much he would have loved his little badpot of a sister who kept me up all night because her doggone Sleep Sheep was broken. Told him how proud he would be of his Daddy who is working so hard. Told him about the fun Easter we had and how thankful I always am to be his mama on that day.
I don't know for sure if he hears me when I tell him these things, but when I opened my eyes and looked down at my sleeping baby, felt the warm breeze caressing my cheeks and ruffling her hair...it hit me...I'd be willing to bet he does.