Thursday, August 12, 2010

The Name Game

One of the first things people start to ask when you announce that you are pregnant is "So, have you decided on a name?" This question gets more and more urgent the further you progress, as if naming the baby will somehow be the vailidation that there is actually a baby in there and you didn't just "biggie size" your Whopper meal.

More than one new parent warned me against sharing our chosen name with the world before the ink was dry on the birth certificate. I could not for the life of me figure out why, obviously our friends and family were very eager for this information so they would certainly be thrilled when we made the big announcement.

Wrong, dead wrong.
We decided to name our little boy John Robert, we will be calling him Rip. I relayed this news excitedly to friends and family, finally what they had all been waiting for...

After months of saying she did not care WHAT we named the baby, it was OUR baby, my own mother was the first to weigh in.
Mother (in voice slightly strained with panic): "Just remember, this is for the REST OF HIS LIFE. Why don't you just try it out for a little while and see how you feel?"
Me (much less excitedly than 30 seconds prior): "Mama, I think we are pretty sure that is going to be his name."
Mother (forcefully): "I just really think you should think about it, THIS IS FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE."

My sister was more to the point when she made her opinion known in a succinct text message: "Don't name your baby Rip, it reminds me of a poot."

Various other friends and family members have been more passively aggressive about our choice, "Well, he could always go by John or Robert" (i.e. He could always go by John or Robert when he is old enough to have some sense and realizes what morons his parents are)

So lesson learned. If you don't want to think of your child's name as a bodily function, best to do the big reveal after it is no longer acceptable for others to voice their opinions. I'll keep that in mind for child number two (I'm thinking VanWinkle Harris).

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